The Great Leap to Physical Maturity at Gimnazia Tzar Simeon

I got to school and was handed a plastic cup full of vodka. Apparently it was someone’s birthday.
“No, thanks, I’m about to go teach,” I said.
“Even better!” The Bulgarian teacher responded and topped off my vodka with a little cola.
Drink in hand, I went to class to find no students, because the girls were listening to a guest speaker give a Power Point about the menstrual cycle and the boys were outside, climbing the scaffolding, trying to eavesdrop through the windows. To set an example of openness and maturity, I went to watch the presentation, and learned that Proctor & Gamble offers many quality products that can help me stay fresh and fancy-free during this difficult and confusing time in my life. I also learned that “течение” is not only the word for the dreaded draft that causes all forms of malady, but it also means “flow.”
Then the presenter encouraged all of those in attendance to forge their friends’ names on the sign-up sheets so they could take home extra gift packs.